Several years ago a woman in my church came to me, accompanied by two elders’ wives. Being Like Christ. Every day he has a new excuse for not working. Titus 2:5 echoes the same principle that wives are to submit in order not to dishonor the word of God or the faith. 26 All day long he craves and craves, but the righteous gives and does not hold back. Nowhere in scripture does God sanction any kind of abuse. Resentment can be a very informative emotion. What happened when you made the decision to stop over-functioning and do your part to create a mutually responsible marriage? But the principle is, submission is reflected by your speech. Before we look at what submission means, note two things about authority and submission. By “without a word” he doesn’t mean that a wife is to be mute. Resentment tells us about our core expectations, and can also enlighten us as to what is taking place, and what isn’t, in our relationships. That should be your overall goal in all your dealings with your husband. Does it make my husband want to follow my Lord Jesus Christ?”. The Bible directly, expressly, and clearly tells wives they are to respect their husbands but let’s keep it real. They left my office and the woman began to apply 1 Peter 3 to herself. Otherwise, her behavior would be different. A husband should be self-sacrificing. Nothing will drive a man further from the Lord than a nagging wife. In my book When Pleasing Others is Hurting You I explain how healthy marriages are built, in large part, on mutual respect. I would ask him to help but it never happened. Attitude is crucial. This is a path for a marriage free from resentment. Proverbs 18:9-10 Whoever is lazy regarding his work ... No widow should be put on the list unless she is at least sixty years old, was the wife of one husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to … I have always been the one to work while my husband is in and out of jobs. Because her ex-husband is remarried, Mary Ann can’t remedy this … “The woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives” (Romans 7:2). As Eugene Peterson says, “Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention.” (I Corinthians 7: 33-34). So it refers to a wife who is not selfishly assertive, but rather who yields her rights without yielding her strength of character. Husband A. Submission to one’s difficult husband is not usually one of the action points! There is a sense in which Christ submits Himself to the church in self‑ sacrificing service, but at the same time, clearly He is in authority over the church. With her many persuasions she entices him; With her flattering lips she seduces him. The Search OF the Savior: Why Jesus Came, Part 2 (Gal. Answer: The Bible says enough about being a Christian husband that a book could be written about it all. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. In fact, a number of books have been written about it. Attention. We need to understand several things in approaching this text. Being a Good Husband. How can I get my husband to take more responsibility in our home? He is a weekly guest on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books. The Bible teaches that it is the wife's duty to HELP her husband. 1 Cor 7:4 gives your wife just as much “authority” over your body as you have over hers. After studying the Bible, she has come to the conclusion that she divorced for selfish reasons, not biblical ones. But she doesn’t do it in a demanding or obnoxiously assertive way. Peter’s point is that the emphasis should be on attractive character qualities, which are imperishable, not on elaborate outward attractiveness, which necessarily fades with age. Consider her ways and be wise” (Proverbs 6:6). She won’t use deception or dishonesty to try to get her own way. Peter says that such a spirit is precious in the sight of God. I calmly replied that the Bible was my only guide for such situations and that if they didn’t want to follow that, I couldn’t help them. Love. We’re so prone to react to wrong treatment with more wrong treatment and then to blame our sin on the other person’s sin. What does the Bible say? While a lazy … This article gives a brief overview. All the commands to submit are directed to wives, not to husbands. He will see Christlikeness in her. But, again, if you as a wife must disobey your husband in order to obey God, you can do it in a submissive spirit, letting him know that you love him and want to please him, but it is more important that you obey God. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. They will notice attractive behavior and through it be drawn to the source of that behavior—a relationship with Jesus Christ. “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road! We all are to develop a submissive spirit, to be chaste, reverent, gentle and quiet, with an emphasis on the inner person rather than on outward appearance. First, there is no excuse for your husband’s irresponsibility. In an upcoming article, we will focus on a Christian wife’s responsibilities to her husband. In fact, this same passage says, “ She is the most noble character I have ever known; if the conformation of her features is such that it might have masked her inward beauty to my soul then I am the great gainer by having lost my sight.” (Donald Barnhouse, Let Me Illustrate [Revell], p. The Bible says “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23) and Christ tells us regarding his churches that “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” (Revelation 3:19). I heard about a husband who nicknamed his wife Peg although that wasn’t her name. Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. I see this pattern occurring in many marriages: women who complain about how much they have to do, while enabling men to be emotionally, spiritually and sometimes even physically absent. Notice that just as the wife should submit to Christ, that is how she is to submit to her husband. First, the purpose of authority is to protect and bless those under authority, not to benefit the one in authority. The point of 3:3‑4 is not that a woman should neglect her outward appearance, but rather that her emphasis should be on the inner person. What does the Bible say about being a good student? “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs‚ It always protects‚” (vs. 4-7 NIV). You will be setting a boundary, one that you must indicate he cannot violate. Being Like the World. A lion is in the open square!” Proverbs 13:4. I am hoping you can advise me on my marriage. The Greek word is a military term meaning to place in rank under someone. She will be morally pure. The idea is that a godly wife will live in the fear of God, aware that He sees all that is going on (“in the sight of God,” 3:4). While I focus on my marriage, my husband focuses on himself. In other words, is there a proper place for “tough love”? Thus attractive behavior involves submission, purity, reverence toward God, and not nagging. He is not forbidding all braiding of hair or wearing of jewelry, or else he’s also forbidding wearing dresses! 11:29; 21:5). A horse that is powerful but responsive to the slightest tug of its master is a “gentle” horse. Article Images Copyright ©, 5 Ways to Use Loving Words with Your Spouse, 5 Keys to Avoid the Hazards of Anxiety in Marriage, California - Do Not Sell My Personal Information. Peter’s words, “do what is right” (3:6), show that he is not counseling sinful behavior in the name of submission to a disobedient husband. Here are some messages from Scripture for you if you’re a woman who feels unloved in your marriage: God loves you. Nowhere in scripture does God sanction any kind of abuse. 1. John uses this word when he tells us to purify ourselves just as Jesus is pure (1 John 3:3). But when a woman feels unloved by her husband anything else good in life can feel rather meaningless. He graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary (Th.M., 1976 in Bible exposition) and Califo... More, 4. But that would be a violation of the higher principle that we must obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29). A husband who focuses on his authority is out of line. So I think we must interpret and apply them as written. 1 Corinthians 15:57-58 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ! 2. And a husband must not divorce his wife. Who say to your husbands, “Bring now, that we may drink!” The Lord God has sworn by His holiness, “Behold, the days are coming upon you When they will take you away with meat hooks, And the last of you with fish hooks. I want to conclude by briefly answering three practical questions that arise on this topic: Peter’s words, “even if any of them are disobedient to the word” show that he wasn’t just thinking about nice husbands. Scripture is clear that believers are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Cor. What has been the result? What does the Bible say? Eventually, he quit drinking and began spending more time with his family. I’m not going to cover for your behavior the next time you’re drunk.”. The difficult question is, How much? The biblical pattern is for the wife to yield control to the husband and to do all she can to please him and make him prosper. Forgiveness is always better than divorce, even in the case of unfaithfulness. Practice some of these tools and let me know how they work for you. He will yell louder, then you yell louder yet, and if things get out of hand, he may lose control and say all sorts of nasty things that he wouldn’t say when he’s more rational or he may even hit you. “Chaste” (3:2) can be translated “purity” (NIV). But God wants us to be prepared to respond to wrongs against us by doing what is right. 5:33), but because Peter’s uses of “fear” in the preceding context refer to reverence toward God (2:17, 18), I take it that way here. But even in such situations, a Christian wife must not provoke her husband to anger and she must display a gentle spirit. 3:7). Your marriage needs to be transformed, from responsible/ irresponsible to mutually responsible. “You will go out through breaches in the walls, Each one straight before her, And you will be cast to Harmon,” declares the Lord. Paul recognizes a sense in Christian marriage in which each partner submits to the other under Christ, but he also goes on to state that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church. A lazy husband can be worked upon and transformed into a helpful, involved family man – provided you use the right approaches at the right times. Her husband won’t distrust her because she’s a flirt with other men. The clearest picture of a Christian husband is presented in Ephesians 5:15–33. So even though I direct my comments to wives who have unbelieving husbands, the principles apply to us all, men and women alike. Some say that the Bible never tells a wife to obey her husband, but Peter holds up Sarah’s obedience to Abraham as an example of biblical submission. But you cannot use Scripture to force your wife to have sex with you. But when you drink, it hurts both you and our relationship. (Even though this passage is talking about unbelieving husbands, the principle is still the same.) But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially … You must obey what God has told you to do and let Him take care of your partner. The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road! It is true that a new believer is taught that “ …it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast ” (Ephesians 2:8-9). Husbands are not to expect their wives to be slaves that exist merely to do the man’s bidding. Peter’s point is that disobedient husbands are more likely to be won by godly practice than by preaching from their wives. Peter didn’t want to compound the problem with a wife’s defiant behavior. Photo credit: Unsplash/Aaron Burden. We have been together for five years and married for almost four. It always occurs in the context of others doing wrong toward us and points to the fact that our behavior shouldn’t be determined by how others treat us. The husband is not to dominate, but to do all he can to bless and protect his wife so that she prospers in the Lord. She is not out to prove anything, because she is secure in who she is in the Lord. Next week I’ll hit the husbands, but today I ask each wife, even if your husband is a believer, to take a look at your behavior in this spiritual mirror and ask, “Is it attractive? Being Lukewarm. He fully takes his biblical role as a man providing for his family to heart. I saw this pattern beginning when we were dating but thought things would change when we got married. First, the qualities Peter encourages these women to adopt apply to all Christians, both men and women. Ex-Husband is remarried, Mary Ann can ’ t her name with Jesus Christ who can answer sensibly,... 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